Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

Of all the philosophies and theologies I have learned, the most difficult is the idea of impermanence. Think, Buddhism and Hinduism.

Most people have heard about or witnessed the creation of Buddhist sand mandalas. On the other hand, few have witnessed the erasure that follows. The erasure is a ceremony unto itself, symbolizing the temporary place that we and all life on Earth hold.

Over the years, much to my dismay, several of my murals have been painted over. I had hoped they would remain until long after I had passed. I have learned to accept some of this impermanence, mostly because there’s usually another commission or gallery opening just around the corner. Still, I yearn for some kind of immortality through my art.

My first restaurant mural actually had a long lifespan. I had decorated all four walls of a local Italian restaurant. The less-oft’ viewed back of St. Peter’s Basilica; the crumbling Coliseum; romantic couples in gondolas with laughing children racing across the bridges overhead; horses sporting brightly colored headdresses, pulling equally bright Sicilian carts; an Italian phrase that echoed our oft recited, “Eat, Laugh, Live,” (and which I had to research with help from the local university); and even the iconic fingertips of Michelangelo’s “The Creation of Adam” over the dessert freezer (what more appropriate spot?).

For years, my family, friends and locals reveled in the authenticity of the Sicilian family’s recipes, with my artwork as a backdrop. But the neighborhood changed. Mama Lina’s closed its doors.

A couple of weeks later, perhaps with a touch of masochism, I stopped by. A half-dozen white, work trucks were parked outside and the sound of drills and hammers echoed throughout the empty space. I walked through entryway, once decorated with a vine-covered lattice arch, to see only whitewashed walls. Stark. Eerie. Depressing. Almost dreamlike, in a nightmarish sort of way.

As I stared at the blank spaces that had once danced with life, workmen came up to ask me if I was the artist.

“How did you know? 

“The way you walked straight in and stared at the wall,” one of them said. Of course. Who else would walk into someone else’s business, uninvited, and stare at all the blank walls? They were sympathetic, and even asked for my business card. But they had a job to do.

Another restaurant hired me to paint numerous Egyptian scenes on wood-stained clapboard—no easy feat. I first had to prime the area. While that was drying, I sketched scenes from various internet travel sites, merging each as it moved along the wall. The iconic Egyptian pyramids; sparkling gardens and lush, tropical flowers; women carrying basketsful of fruit atop their heads; and a twist on the traditional, tourist camel ride—the owner and his family atop the camels. Each family member posed, an exercise that added many hours to my work.

They did a good business for a while. But the location never stuck. Attempts to make it into a nightclub flopped. I heard rumors that they may close and so I made a trip over, only to find the camel scene marred. Someone had whitewashed the family’s faces. I never returned to witness the complete erasure.

Admittedly, I have destroyed some of my own artwork. My skills have improved. Some items were water damaged. And I don’t need three portfolios of college work. Still, my stomach does a little flip each time one of my works ends up in the landfill or hidden beneath four coats of Kilz.

All things have a lifespan. Cars. Buildings. Glaciers. Magazines. Medicines. And, of course, humans. I have, through necessity, adopted a more laisse faire attitude toward the sometimes-transient nature of my work.

And when I hit a real low, I pick up my brush and start again. I can always create something new.

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Inspiration Just Outside the Window

There’s only one thing worse than getting lost in cyberspace when I’m supposed to be writing: looking out the window of my art studio when I’m supposed to be painting. Assembled in front of my azaleas, feeders of all shapes and sizes attract a variety of birds. In fact, I had to buy a book to identify them all. I’ve seen male and female cardinals, blue jays, blackbirds, grackles, Carolina wrens, black capped chickadees, vireos, robins, flycatchers, sparrows, mourning doves, finches, mockingbirds, tufted titmouse, towhee, woodpecker, and warblers. And a few I can’t identify.

Of course, squirrels make a nuisance of themselves, but their antics are entertaining. They slide down feeder poles like drunken firemen, spin around on the hanging feeders like Tilt-a-Whirls, and chew peanuts upside-down from the mesh slots. Too often, I find myself fiddling with my zoom lens instead of painting.

A local art gallery association to which I belong challenged all of its members to shoot a photo of their studios and frame them. (“Egads,” I thought, surveying the stained rags, splattered floor, piles of boxes and paint cans, and dozens of portfolios vying for space in my studio. “What a mess! Who wants to look at this!”) Then, in the medium to which we artists are accustomed to working, create a piece inspired by our studios. It didn’t have to be something inside of the studio. Just inspired by it. The framed studio photos would hang next to the inspired pieces for an upcoming show.

Easy choice for me. My studio is completely banked by windows on the north. I feast my eyes upon azalea bushes, sassafras trees, pines, dogwoods and a redbud. I’ve collected a vast array of bird feeders, and to watch the birds feeding and flitting is a captivating retreat.

For this challenge, I wanted to paint as many bird species as possible, using a gold background of gingko leaves. (I planted a gingko tree in another part of the yard years ago; it’s still only three feet tall.) I knew that I wanted the design to take a circular motion, one that started with a cardinal smack in the middle and ended with something faint and tiny in the background.

Originally I’d named the painting “Birder Heaven,” but when my husband saw it, he exclaimed, “Oh, it’s an Angry Bird!” Well, that took care of that! “Angry Birds in the Garden” was a delight to paint, and as many paintings do, it evolved beyond what I’d foreseen. I can’t wait for the show to open.

In the meantime, I try to focus on my drawing board. It helps if it’s raining.

Note: I painted over this piece because I decided that I hated it. Check out “A Bird in the Hand is Much Better Than Two in the Bush.”

Source: Inspiration Just Outside the Window

Creativity rarely sleeps.

How to decide whether to write or paint each day? Some days are filled with deadlines. Others are more open. Roman poet Horace said that “A picture is a poem without words.” Join me in my poetic journey where I pontificate on politics, wrestle with my son’s Asperger’s or my Dad’s Alzheimer’s, absorb myself in gardening, commisserate on cats and dogs, and take joy from my works of art, whether acrylic, oil, watercolor or pen and ink. Art and writing have been my lifelong passions. How lucky I am to love my work. As Kahil Gibran said: “Work is love made visible.”